Welcome back, Readers! I have returned from my research “vacation,” for certain values of “returned” anyway. I am still teaching the overload situation this semester, but it’s going well and I feel like I’m mostly not drowning at this point. I am only now resuming work on the project, though. It’s been a good time to take a break and I feel much more able to bring my attention back to it in a positive and constructive way.
One of the things this break brought home to me is how I’ve basically worked on this non-stop for two years at least, prior to the beginning of this past holiday season. It’s so easy to get caught up in the work, particularly when it’s something that we’re interested in and want to see happen, that we can fall victim to our academic training of “never stop working” and forget that sometimes it’s good to let the fields like fallow for a bit.
I’m not saying that everyone is always in a situation where that’s feasible, or necessarily even desirable — we all have our own relationships to our work and research. One of the things I’m discovering on my own career journey, though, is the inexorability of erosion. Time, familiarity, training, and anxiety all wear away at our boundaries, our self-images, our work-life balance, and our storehouses of resolve and empathy. It takes active work to shore up those borders and keep ourselves whole and healthy. Much like the mansions on the hilltops in California now being undermined by landslides and erosion, with the ground beneath them slipping away into the ocean, we’re similarly at risk of being washed out and ground down to nothing. The world, your institution, your research, your students — none of them will tell you to stop when you’re already spread thin.
I know I’m not saying anything really new here. The thing that really hit me, though, is that although I do want to push forward and I’m excited about where this project is going to go, I don’t have a clock on this or a deadline I have to make. I don’t have to push for some external timeline that’s only in my head and sacrifice myself and my enthusiasm for this project in the process. Pacing myself — taking breaks — is a good thing. So for those following along in the background, I appreciate your patience and hope you bear with me during quieter times. I should have more progress to relate soon.
Lennox Bibliography Project 